Thursday, June 21, 2012

I Do's and Don'ts - Wedding and Event Etiquette

It’s wedding season and I thought it would be appropriate to post my thoughts about wedding and event culture.
I have been to quite a few soires in my time, and I am also a wedding show junkie so I like to think I have a good idea on standard event etiquette.
I have read a lot of books on etiquette as well including:
  • The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum - Kim Izzo
  • How To Be A Hepburn in A Hilton World - Jordan Christy
  • The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book - Emily Ehrenstein and Lara Morin
As always, these are my personal opinions :) I would be happy to hear some of your thoughts and ideas on how to throw the perfect party :)

1.       Do not edit your bridal registry/baby registry once it has been submitted. Do your research and get it right the first time. Really think about the items before putting them on your list, don’t just add them on because the store is closing in 5 minutes, or because you think “It’s Free”. Be thoughtful!
2.       Do not host a hundred events for your special day. You are getting married, great! We can celebrate this with one event prior to the wedding. Hosting multiple events like an engagement party, a stag and doe, a bridal shower, a luncheon and bachelor/bachelorette party is annoying and expensive. Do not put your guests under this financial and annoying stress.
3.       Do not expect your guests to cover the cost of your wedding. If you can’t afford a lavish wedding, don’t expect your guests to cover the tab. Not everyone is financially able to give what you are expecting.
4.       Do make your guests feel welcome. Sometimes I feel like a background character or filler of a room at such occasions. Make an effort to talk to ALL your guests and thank them for coming.

5.       Do not serve your guests beverages in plastic or paper cups. Unless you are at someone’s house, do not serve your guests drinks in plastic/paper cups. Let’s keep it classy people.
6.     Do send thank you cards. Make a note of the gift in the card. E.g “Thank you for your generous gift; we have put this money towards a baby carriage”.
7.       Do provide some sort of entertainment for the guests. A band, games, circus performers, caricature artists -some sort of novelty to keep your guests laughing.

8.       Do not bore your guests with overdone speeches and slideshows. Keep it short and sweet for more of an effect.

9.     Do be original. Any special event you host is like a blank canvas. Create an event that stands out from all the rest. This is probably the hardest task for any event, but if you think outside the box, you can create some lasting memories for you and your guests.
10.   Do Balloons. Just ‘cause they are so fun and so pretty J

2 comments:

  1. I was nodding my head and saying "YES! Thank you!" At all of your points! Some main ones of mine:

    1) Registry. Seriously, people need to take the time doing this. SO many people get gifts and keep them in a cupboard and NEVER use them. And 2 years pass by and they end up giving away their good china, still in the box, because it doesn't match what they wanted.

    2) Hundreds of events. Let's just stick to an engagement party because it's a fun gathering, the shower because the older people love that sort of thing, and a bachelorette party because they young ones wanna go wild. And the wedding. I feel that one gift for the shower and a wedding gift is enough. If you are in the wedding, do you have to give gifts? Because honestly, that is EXPENSIVE. I would not want a gift from my party.

    3) Invites. If you send me a FB to any of the events mentioned in number 2-- don't expect me to come.

    4) Have solid plans for parties. Don't say, "maybe we can go to a cottage and watch fireworks..." Again, don't expect me to come. Make the event fun and go crazy like they do in the movies. Get creative or get a creative friend to plan your parties.

    5) Stage and Doe? No thanks. Don't force me to pay your bills.

    6) Speeches should have a cut off time or else I will have Oscar music come on and cut you off. Don't put my guests to sleep. And would it hurt to make it funny?

    7) Don't have a ceremony in the morning and then make me drive to the reception that is only a cocktail party hors d'oeuvres. I'm now hungry and want dinner. Do you expect me to order pizza in the parking lot?

    8) Cake. This might just be me but instead of a dessert served at dinner and then doing the cake when everyone is smashed, why not cut the cake after people eat and serve that as dessert. Then people will actually eat the cake that you spent $600 on.

    9) Send your thank you cards out promptly after the wedding. A year later is a "thanks but that's inconsiderate."

    10) Make sure who you pick as bridesmaids are going to be committed and do exactly what you want them too. Layout the costs, and time commitments before popping the questions to your soon to be wedding party. There's no need for people to think you are being a bridezilla when they can't commit.

    Love this post! And I love wedding season! <3

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    Replies
    1. HAHAHA YES!!! YES to all your points!! You kill me!
      Weddings are not fundraisers like some people think!

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